STUPID EXPRESSIONS, MISPRONOUNCED WORDS, AND OTHER INANITIES

As American culture continues on its downward spiral, the increase in stupid expressions, pointless cliches, mispronounced and misused words becomes increasingly more pronounced.  Many of these have been around since well before my time, while others have made their debut in more recent times.  Some of these are obviously stupid, nonsensical, and erroneous, while far too many others seem to be almost universally accepted and are used by many intelligent people unaware of what they are really saying.  With that in mind, I have compiled a few of what I consider some of the more egregious examples.  No doubt interested readers will have many of their own.

1) “I could care less.”  The whole point of this expression is to say that you don’t care at all.  By saying you could care less, you are admitting that you do care.  The correct expression is “I couldn’t care less.”  Not that this will stop the non-grammarians, of course.

2) “When hell freezes over.”  This one fails for the same reason as the preceeding, yet I have yet to come across anyone who seems to comprehend why.  The reason should be obvious, if you think about it.  The point of the expression is that something is not about to happen.  But put a glass of water in the freezer to see what happens.  What freezes first?  The top, not the bottom.  In other words, it takes longer for the water to freeze at the bottom rather than at the top.  So the expression, if it is to mean what it is supposed to mean, should be: “When hell freezes under.”  And I bet most of you never thought about that!

3) “Going nowhere fast.”  A contemporary expression that would have baffled our ancestors.  Obviously, if you aren’t going anywhere, it can’t be either slow or fast.  I can only wonder who came up with this little gem.

4) “My bad.”  Your bad what?  This one is too dumb for further comment other than to say: What is wrong with saying “my mistake?”

5) “Alls I know…”  When did the word “all” suddenly become plural?

6) “At this point in time.”  Time is a continuum; it has no points.  In addition to this error, the expression is also a good example of overkill:  All that needs to be said is: “At this time…”

7) “Slow it up.”  I’ve heard this one far too many times from inarticulate sports announcers, as when they say: “they need to slow it up.”  What is the opposite?  Speed it down?

8) “Aks.”  This is a mispronunciation of the word “ask” and, while it is especially prominent in the black community, has come into frequent usage with far too many others.  Do they refer to a hatchet as an “ask?”

9) “Would of.”  The correct expression is “would have” but that won’t stop the anti-grammarians, of course.

10) “Gonna”; “woulda.”  This is just laziness.  Is it too much trouble to say “going to” or “would have?”

In closing, should anyone seriously doubt the dumbing down of America, all I can say is to watch re-runs of “What’s My Line” from half a century ago, and then turn on the TV and watch just about any afternoon television show on any major network.  You will see just about all of the above examples utilized on a constant basis, even by that hosts.  There are many others as well.  All I can say is that, for the most part, class is a thing of the past, at least as far as television shows are concerned.